Ten Years In Ten Days: The Road Continues...

We wrap up this series with the tenth year of our marriage (2012-2013).  This past year has seen a lot of things: hard work, more experience with Grace Descending, Don Ford joining the ranks of The Clubhouse Podcast resulting in more exposure within the community, a normal work schedule for me, a new job for Jenn as the Payroll Supervisor for the corporate headquarters of Dave & Buster's, and more time together.

As I look back, I consider my self incredibly fortunate to have the blessings in my life that I do.  I told myself from a young age that when it came to getting married, I was only doing that one time, and if the road ahead is anything like the road so far... mission accomplished.  I married a woman who gets me on every level, and I like to think I know her pretty well.

Here's to more!

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Road Dims & Brightens

We are up to year nine of the Ervin household all having the same last name (2011-2012), and we would start it with Ken Belcher and myself leaving the church we played together at for a new experience.  We would wind up at New Community Church, at the request of one of his daughters.  We totally dug the place, and we still attend there to this day.  I even work with the Praise & Worship team from time to time.

Another important wrinkle to this story is that by moving churches, Ken and I decided to start our own music ministry.  And thus, Grace Descending was born.  We have been working together for over three years, and Grace D takes up about two thirds of it.  There have been ups and downs, but the ministry itself has been an amazing reward for me.

In December of 2011, I would end my six month unemployment period by getting a job with HMS as the Supervisor of Nesting (Training).  I am still there, with my role expanding and evolving seemingly daily.  I worked 2nd shift until recently, which prohibited me from seeing my wife as often as I would like to, but now I work 1st shift, so come tomorrow, we can celebrate properly without either of us having to take time off to do so.

Things would continue to roll, with the next significant event happening in September of 2012.  Jenn went to a Farmer's Market with her best friend, and there she would see that the local ASPCA had a booth.  She sat at a table near it, and a small black and white cat would peek out of a kennel and run right up to her and sit in her lap, purring like there was no tomorrow.  After some discussion, Jasper Bartholomew Ervin would come to live with us, giving us two cats now.  (And NO, there will not be a third.)  He and Hunter are actually very good for each other, and Hunter has even mellowed out quite a bit.  I guess his little brother tuckers him out. (And YES, I tried to get Jenn to name him Shawn, but she wouldn't get duped twice.)

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Future Dims & Brightens

Our series continues into year eight (2010 - 2011), with me working steadily and things looking up.  Things would take a further upswing in early February when I would get a call from Ken Belcher, who was the guitar player I worked with in Trinity Reign.  His church Praise & Worship team would be playing at a biker service on Easter, and he asked me if I wanted to sing with them.  I agreed, and started working with him again.  Things just felt right, and he asked me to work with them on a weekly basis for his church.  This turned into me going back to church on a regular basis, and a recharged faith that I needed.  Especially given what was to come.

In the spring, I would lose my grandmother.  I flew to Tampa to be with my family, which was bittersweet because I got to see all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins.  I also knew that it would probably be the last time we would all be in the same room.  I hope that last sentence was not the truth, but I have come to grips with it.  It was a great weekend regardless.

About a month after that, I would get laid off from my job.  This one didn't sting as bad as the last one, but it still sucked.  The silver lining here is that my trip to Florida for my 20 year high school reunion got to be a little longer.

The reunion itself was on my birthday, which made it even more fun.  I got to spend some time with some of my favorite people in the world, whom I miss greatly.  I also got to spend some "Rob time," see my best friend and his wife, spend time with my sister, Julie (who lives about an hour from me, yet I still don't get to see as often as I would like), and take one of the greatest road trips EVER as Phil & Shannon Maher and their family would move out here in the same area where Julie live.  I love having them out here, and feel like they are my family.

So, there was a balance there, but things were starting to get to me as unemployment was going on WAY longer than I wanted it to.  It was taking a toll on my well being, and Jenn was doing everything she could to help me stay positive.  The rollercoaster would continue, as you will see in tomorrow's entry.

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Future Expands

Year seven of our marriage (2009 - 2010)  started out as things at my job were getting more chaotic and unpredictable.  In January of 2010, I would be let go from my job as a traveling corporate trainer and was unemployed for the first time in a LONG time, much less unemployed and responsible for bills with another person.  It was the first time in my life that I collected unemployment, and my self esteem took a HUGE blow.  Jenn was amazing during this time, helping me stay positive.  One of my best friends, Chad, lost his job the next day and we did what we could to keep each other motivated.

A couple of weeks after that, I ran into an old friend by the name of Tim Barry.  He had been trying to get me to make music with him and a music ministry he was involved with, but the first time I was working nights and the second time was when I was constantly on the road.  This time, I had no excuse, and the next week I would have my first rehearsal with a band called Trinity Reign.  The bad thing was that the ministry would disband about six months later.  The MAJOR positive thing was that I met a dude named Ken Belcher.  More about him in the next installment of this series.

In late May, I would run into an old boss from Southwest General Services, and I would end up working for him in a different branch of the company in June.  The office was 5 minutes from the house and without freeway driving.  This was an answer to prayer that restored some of my sanity and gave me even more knowledge and skills within the healthcare industry.  And I was making the best money of my life.

Around late spring, Chad and I were kicking around some ideas, and the concept of a podcast came up.  We brainstormed, and the first week in July, The Clubhouse Podcast was born, co-hosted by another friend, Cody Hawkins.  (If you don't know what this is, CLICK HERE.)  The show is still going strong to this day, and we are almost to our 200th episode.  Someday, I will convince my beautiful wife to do the podcast with me, and that could be THE GREATEST EPISODE EVER.  I am not telling my readers to convince her of this, but I am also not telling my readers to convince her of this.  :-)

The next year of our time together would bring more change, and a MAJOR life decision.

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Career Expands (And So Does The Family)

Marriage year six began (2008-2009) as my "road warrior" career really got moving.  I even got to spend a couple of weeks in South Florida on a business trip.  It was really good to get to go home and see a lot of people that I had not in a while.  It's odd to realize how big the world used to be.  Living in Dallas has made my world smaller.  This particular trip was an example, where I was in Jupiter, Florida.  Jupiter is about a 45 minute drive to my hometown, right outside of Fort Lauderdale.  When I landed and got settled in the hotel, I immediately called my best friend, Rico, and set up dinner with him and his wife.  When I was a kid, that drive would have KILLED me, since our area gave you everything that you needed within about a 5 mile radius.  In Dallas, if you don't drive for 20 minutes, you don't really go anywhere.  So, when Rico said "That's like a 45 minute drive, dude," my response was, "And?"  That drive now is SO much easier for me.  It's crazy, I tell you.

In the late spring of 2007, I made a decision that changed everything for us.  Jenn had been telling me that she wanted a cat for some time, and I was hesitant.  We could barely keep up with ourselves, much less another living being in our house.  Right around her birthday in early June, I finally realized that with as much as I was on the road, my beautiful bride needed to have a companion around to keep her company while I was on the road, and a cat seemed like there could be worse things she could ask for.  So, I came home from working one weekend (I had picked up the DJ thing to supplement a cut in pay for this job), there was a small, dark, furball running all over our bedroom.  Jenn had brought home a kitten from her best friend's something-or-other's litter.  He was the only black cat of the litter, and he could not have been cuter if he tried.  This is the conversation that followed:

Jenn: What should we name him?

Me: How about Hunter?

Jenn: That is a GREAT NAME!  He is always running around and looking for stuff!  That is awesome, honey!

Me: So, it's settled then?  His name is Hunter?

Jenn:  YES!

Me: Good.  Because his middle name shall be Hearst.

Jenn: (slowly realizing the trap she has fallen into... slowly turning her head with "that" look):  Did you just name our cat after Triple H?

Me: (with the pride of an 8 year old that did his first science project) Yep.

And thus, Hunter Hearst Ervin became our first "child".  Sure, he's almost twenty pounds, but he's OUR almost twenty pounds.

That summer was especially stressful for me with the job, as things were starting to get weird.  I will not go to deeply into it, but if it were not for some AMAZING friends (and you know who you are) and a wife that kept my head on straight for me, I might have gone loony.  (And yes, the argument could be made that we made it there a LONG time ago.)  I kept pushing forward, determined to keep everything moving properly.

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Career Evolves

Our story continues into our fifth year of marriage (2007-2008), which started with a bit of a curve ball.  When we drove down to San Antonio about six weeks before our anniversary, Jenn's back problems came to a head and finally went over the edge as a disc in her back fragmented, and the fragments choked out a nerve in her leg, causing her immense pain.  We took her to the emergency room to get her treated in enough time to get back home to Dallas, and later that week, she had to have surgery to remove the fragments and stabilize her back.  Her recovery time was seven weeks, and thankfully, she had Short Term Disability at her job that helped with the bills.  (If it is part of your benefits packaage at your job, enroll.  If it isn't, get your employer to do it.  Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.)  Jenn's parents were also a huge help with assisting me in keeping up with the day to day stuff that usually takes both of us to do.

I would also take my first road trip to Vegas at the end of Jenn's rehabilitation period.  Due to the fact that I drove it by myself made the trip even better because I got to have some "Rob time" and I got to drive on my own schedule.  That was also the last trip to Vegas that I have had.  Looking forward to another soon, for sure!

In March of 2008, I took a large leap of faith and left Southwest General Services to try to expand my career into what I was pretty much born to do: corporate training.  I would start with a company called HCFS, where I would become a bit of a "road warrior," traveling all over the country training their new hires in the environments they were hired to work in.  I learned a bit about myself in that time; mainly, I can handle a travel schedule, but it's a bit more complicated when you have another person that is your partner in life.  Again, my wife being the amazingly understanding person that she is, she handled it with grace and strength.  As our fifth year of marriage wrapped up, we were halfway to ten, and more was to come.

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Role Evolves

As our fourth year of marriage got under way (2006-2007), Jenn and I got to take our first trip to Vegas together.  It was a lot of fun, and my mom actually got us tickets to see the new-at-the-time "Beatles Love" show.  It was wonderful, and Jenn especially really enjoyed it. Whenever we get to take a true trip together, we have the best time.  Kinda proves how truly fit for each other we are.

I would take on more trips and trade shows, and even helped land a few accounts for my company at the time.  Things were getting more intense at the job, but my wife was incredibly patient and understood when duty called.  Even when she had ample reason not to.  Jenn's career was really taking off as well.

As we wrapped up Year Four, more changes were headed our way, including surgery, road trips from a driving standpoint, and a road trip change metaphorically.

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Role Changes

As we started our third year of marriage (2005-2006), my job got much more involved with helping out with the executive team as a friend, confidante, and other roles as needed.  This would also result in my first two trade shows, which were about two weeks apart: one in Austin, Texas and the other in Las Vegas, Nevada.  This was my first trip to Vegas, and I truly enjoyed myself.  I don't know if I can say it was more or less than I expected; it was a little bit of both.  I think I was the only one that manned our booth for the entire time we were at the shows (and I think that record stayed intact for my entire career when I did trade shows), but that was OK by me.  I still got to spend some leisure time as well.  Just walking around and looking at stuff was most of the fun for me.

Most of that year was spent handling work business, but still making time to spend with TL&TME.  No matter what has come around, she has always been supportive of what I am doing with an understanding that is unmatched.  But, we will save all of the sappy stuff for next Friday.

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Adventure Changes

During our second year of marriage (2004-2005), one of the biggest changes in our lives together would happen when I would leave Sports City Cafe and retire from the DJ/Karaoke business (for the first time).  In March of 2005, I started on a career in the healthcare industry, which I continue on in to this day.  That first weekend where I didn't have to work felt a little strange (I didn't have weekends completely off in about seven years), but it was nice to be able to see my wife when the sun was still up, and more than just a couple of times a week.  She also started a new step in her career, as she would take a promotion to the Major Accounts department at her work.

Shortly after I would start with this job, Jenn would go on a cruise that was also a fundraiser for her cousin's children.  (Yep.  That happened.)  I could not go with her, so her friend Tamy joined her for this week-long excursion through Central America.  It was the longest we had been apart to that point, and I remember her calling me in the middle of the day from a port of call, and just getting very emotional when we started talking.  She did have a great time, and I am still looking forward to my first cruise experience.  I also took a turn-and-burn trip to San Francisco during that week that I didn't know about until after that call, so by the time she got home, I had been to the West Coast and back.  I was not there very long, but really enjoyed my time on the West Coast.

That summer, we would also bring SummerBamm to the house, as we had about 60 people over to celebrate me turning one year older.  Had a GREAT time at that party, and the couple that would follow in the years that would follow.

As we celebrated our second anniversary, life was really in a good place.

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Adventure Begins

The first year of marriage for myself and TL&TME was very interesting.  It started with us going to the Mariott by the airport, which was provided for us by my mom.  Apparently, she told them that it was our wedding night and she wanted something special for us.  Sure, we were only going to be there for about six hours (we had an early morning flight to Orlando), but she still wanted it to be special.  I valeted our car so we could leave it there for our trip, and Jenn went to check us in.

When I met her at the counter, the nice gentleman there asked if we needed a wake-up call, and I said yes.  He then looked at the other guy and said, "... wake up call for room....".  As he said that, the other guy looked at him with a bit of a surprised expression.  I ignored it and we got our keys so that we could head up to our room.

As we got on the elevator, a concierge got on and had to use his cardkey to get to the room BELOW ours, which I thought was odd, but just continued on.  When the elevator opened, it was obvious that we were on the floor with the suites, as each door had a name for the room on it.  As we turned the corner, we saw a section of the wall that was all very nicely stained wood with a door that had beautifully crafted glass on it, and a doorbell.  As I looked at our cardkey, I could have sworn that the number next to this beautiful display matched the number on our envelope.  We were both very puzzled at this point.  Then, my wife in the wisdom that only she has, snapped me out of it with:

"Try it and see if it works!"

I did, and it did.  What we then learned (and not even my mom knew) is that they booked us in the Presidential Suite.  I have lived in apartments smaller than this thing that had it's own conference room, 1 1/2 baths, a full living room area, tiled fourier, and a whole lot more.  (We have a video tour of it.  It was THAT cool.)

We got up the next morning and headed to a week of the best honeymoon EVER at Walt Disney World.  Jenn tells people that I spent more time planning our honeymoon than she spent planning the wedding, and I wear that like a badge of courage.  We had a plan, and we executed it almost flawlessly.  That is another story for another time.

We returned and we went right back to work.  Over the next year, Sports City would go under its remodel, and I would spend that month working 18 hours every day going back and forth to The Colony (which then was about an hour each way), prepping that store and mine for the new computer system that would handle our DJ and karaoke functions.  We also saw Nickelback that summer, and it rained like crazy.  We bought T-shirts and sealed the bag so we at least had something dry to wear after the show.

In September of 2004, we would move out of the house we were in, and move into our current home.  That move could have been a lot worse, with us working opposite shifts and all, but we have some amazing friends that even showed up first thing in the morning on a Saturday and in a FLEET of trucks, got all of our big stuff moved in one trip.  I will always be thankful for the amazing people in our lives.

Since our first anniversary was on a Monday (leap year), and it was football season, I could not take the day off, but we still found time to have some anniversary time.  We even were able to eat our cake topper as is tradition.  I warn those of you that will go this: get it the first time.  It will not stay good after a few hours when you thaw it out.  Trust me.  There IS a time clock when you take it out of the freezer.  :-)

BB

Ten Years In Ten Days: The Countdown Begins

Next Friday, a milestone is reached.  So, as we count down to that day, I will do my best to do a blog post each day to tell you how the events went that lead up to that day.

October 11, 2003.  Four years after Jennifer Ralph decided she wanted to be known as my girlfriend.  We had met a couple of weeks earlier, and once we got together for the first time without either one of us working, we were pretty much inseparable.  Two years before the date that started this paragraph, we would attend a Dallas Stars game, where I would say to her as they came out for pre-game warmups, "So, we've been together for two years now... What's to say we wait two more and get married?"  Her reply was, "What just happened here?"  My reply was "I am waiting for you to tell me..."  Obviously, she said yes, and plans began.  A venue was found (The Dallas Women's Forum), deposits were laid down on services, personnel, and a honeymoon in the happiest place on earth, Walt Disney World.  Plans were in motion, and about a year out, I got a call from my buddy, Cody Hawkins:

"Um, dude... have you checked a calendar?"

"Why?"

"You may want to."

It was at that moment that I realized that the day that Jenn and I had picked for our wedding day was OU/Texas day.  For those of you that don't live here, this is one of the BIGGEST rivalry games in college football.  It is so intense that it has to be played at a neutral location, which is in Dallas at the Cotton Bowl.  Let me also remind you that I worked at the time as a DJ and karaoke host in a sports bar, so a HUGE chunk of our guests are sports fans and the game is in the middle of the day.  Sure, it would be over in time for our 7 PM wedding, but in some cases, I knew the damage would be done, so I pleaded with our guests to try to stay sober long enough to get through the ceremony.  For the most part, our guests did well.  Did I also mention that this would be a standing ceremony?

That day, I would wake up to our photographer, Ricky Futrell, trying to take a picture of me in that "I just woke up thing".  He did, and I didn't really worry about it.  We had a number of the guys crash at our house, while Jenn and the girls would be at the home of Shawn and Gidget Pritchard (which would end up being the house we currently live in).  Donuts were bought, tuxes were placed on bodies, Sonic was retrieved, and we were off to the wedding.  The girls did stuff to get ready, too.  :-)

The pictures were running a bit behind, and the guys were running a bit ahead, so what happens?  I get left in the car by myself while everybody went inside to see how beautiful my wife-to-be looked.  It was OK; I had Sonic food to keep me company.

We finally got inside, got the groomsman pictures taken, and then we were quarantined to the ballroom upstairs where the reception would take place until it was time for the ceremony.  When the time came, we walked down the stairs one by one until we were all in our places on the staircase.  My heart was in my throat as I waited for the music to hit.  One by one, the bridesmaids made their way up the stairs.  The one I remember the most was Gidget, who made it to her place and turned to smile at me like, "See?  I didn't trip or nothin'!"

And then, my wife rounded the corner.  And all of the nerves calmed themselves.  And all was right in the universe.

The ceremony went flawlessly.  Sure, we probably picked a unity candle song that was a bit longer than it should have ("Longer" by Dan Fogelberg... no pun intended), but it all went well. Nobody objected, which was nice... :-) ... and we went upstairs to the reception.  Could not have had a better time with our friends and family.  Then, it was to change clothes and head to the hotel before we would head to the airport.

And Year One began.

More later...

BB