Holy crap! Another column! Keepin' the streak alive, kids, so here we go...
We start again with iMpact! Given the fact that we had the Hogan announcement and I couldn't record it, I actually went up to my sports bar to watch. For you people. Because I care. Or something like that.
We start with Desmond "My name is Nigel, dammit" Wolfe. I still want to know the REAL reason that Vince passed on this guy. I don't see him as that injury prone (coughAnglecough), but who am I to judge. I will say that he can be main event material in TNA. Here's a question, though: British Invasion, anyone? They've already got really cool shirts, and I think he could REALLY make them viable, and a split from World Elite wouldn't be a bad thing. I'm just sayin'.
So, I guess now that Angle is working face. I had to contact my good friend Mrrrrrrrrrr Coronado.... Coronado on this one, and he has actually worked face before (think the milk truck incident), but I think that only lasted about two weeks. Oddly enough, though, this kinda works for me. Maybe face berzerker Angle is what we need right now.
Is it just me, or does Rhyno sound like Eric Young?
A nice double swerve from Mick this past week, but I have to give a "WTF" for that promo afterwards. Heel Mick Foley just isn't getting it done anymore. I've always been more of a Commissioner Mick guy at this point in his career, but that's maybe just me. I'm a different breed of cat.
And as far as the Hogan press conference goes, he's a "momentum shifter"? Maybe 15, even 10 years ago, but I'm not sure. And he wants to bring "the art" back to professional wrestling? I kinda feel that TNA does a decent job of that on it's own. I've enjoyed their product for some time now, and find that their matches have better quality than Vince's.
And, I am reading that Sting will be off until "deep into 2010". Maybe it's because..... wait for it..... wait for it.... wait for it... WE GET BACK OLD SCHOOL STING!!!!! BLEACH THE HAIR AND BRIGHTEN UP THE FACE PAINT, BABY!!!!!!
(That was for all of you O.G. Corner readers. Both of you.)
Aaaaanyway... to Superstars we go.
Memo to Lawler: I HAVE to watch "Bragging Rights"? I already did, and I don't.
Rosa Mendez has an accent now? Wait for it, it's coming later...
I'm not sure what I am more sick of: "vintage," "bragging rights," or "smart, sexy, and powerful". Discuss.
Did we have to label Tyler Rex (I actually had to think to remember his name from my notes) vs. Zack Ryder as "East Coast Vs. West Coast"? 1994 called and said "Come On, For The Love Of GOD".
I have a note on Matt Striker here, but I'll save it for SmackDown!. My GOD, this show isn't what it was supposed to be. Remember when Superstars was supposed to be brand vs. brand? What the hell happened here? Bring back All-American Wrestling on USA Sunday mornings over this crap.
Sign Of The Week goes to the guy who simply had "SIGN" written. Simple and fun.
SmackDown! comes next. Is Teddy Long now oficially a "tweener"? He convinces Frenchie to turn on his brand to win Bragging Rights, but still tries to distance himself from Punk. I think he needs another female valet that can slap Vickie around a bit.
It's good to see Drew McIntire finally get a feud that might be entertaining. It's not like the Irish like to fight or anything. Where have I heard that before. Maybe for the love of Hornswoggle, unless he starts a tag team with Santino.
You know what I want from this Barista/Rey Rey angle? For Rey to try and try again to convince Barista that this is just "brothers fighting," Barista to keep telling him to go to New Jersey, and then for Rey to pull a double-swerve and go heel on Barista. Haven't had a good one of those in a while.
Here's something I thought I'd never say: GENIUS from Todd Grisham talking about having his Halloween costume be k.d. lang. THAT was funny; I don't care WHO you are.
I also wonder if JTG is the reason that Shad Gaspar still has a job. I like Shad and have made no bones there, but JTG has really emerged as the mouthpiece of that group. The dude can cut a promo and really has more energy than any one individual should at times.
You know, just when I thought we were on the right path of selling Punk as a heel, we have him in a match with a ref? Sure, the dude's an Armstrong, and did his time as a wrestler (it's kind of the law with that last name, if you do your homework... OK, here's a start: Road Dogg is one of his brothers... you do the rest), but it just didn't really work for me.
Lastly, as I promised earlier, I have determined that Matt Striker is given a list of five-dollar college words that he has to work into the broadcast at some point. I really do, and it entertains me. So there.
OK, to ROH we go...
Did I hear Prazak correctly when he said there was a tag team from Canada coming there called the "Super Smash Brothers"? Isn't Nintendo fixing to sue somebody?
And if you're gonna show stuff that happened weeks ago, why not show us Ladder War 2? The clips I saw were impressive, and it wouldn't be any different time-wise than what they're putting out there now...
Bone Crusher? Really? That could have been one of the LAMEST promos I have seen cut in a LONG time.
Now, Raw.... Hey. ROH is only a 1 hour show. And it ain't that great.
In case you were wondering, yes. I took my Raw notes as we watched it LIVE at Sports City Cafe. If you weren't there last week, you should join us this week. 'Twas good times, and good times are scheduled again.
Can we just introduce Kofi from Boston now? The cat's kinda out of the bag at this point. Sure, we know Santino is from New Jersey, but Triple H hasn't ever SAID it on live TV.
It was good to see a different side of Chris Masters. I almost get the feeling he had that idea himself. I had Lex Lugar flashbacks there.
I don't get this huge push for Alicia Fox. I don't. Maybe they'll move her to SmackDown and Vickie can slap HER around a bit. My God, did I just put somebody above Vickie? Wow...
Cena dropping "Johnny Dangerously" on us? That was obscure. That was random. And I LOVED IT.
Osbournes? Not an epic fail, but not far off. And I am curious as to how many of the American fans even know who Ricky Hatton IS. I am a boxing fan, so I get it, and I know that the British fans get it (I wonder if Vegas has ever seen fans like that), but outside of that, I wonder.
ECW wasn't much this week.
Rosa Mendes now DOESN'T have an accent? Aw crap, I give up.
Memo to Tony Atlas: YOU'RE TONY ATLAS. Seriously, dude.
Vance Archer? Who in the blue hell is... OH MY GOD. It's Lancy Hoyt without hair. If I hadn't read it earlier this week, I wouldn't have known. Good to see the dude getting work.
Topic Of The Week this week is one I've been meaning to do for weeks, but other stuff has put it back. This week, we're getting to it....
Fixing ECW.
When Vince first became proprietor of ALL of the footage in the history of professional wrestling, I was optimistic that we could get some GREAT collections on DVD. It started strong ("The Rise & Fall Of ECW," "The Road Warriors"), but has kind of faltered ("The Rise & Fall Of WCW," the first Hogan set).
The first "ECW One Night Stand" was genius, but really fell off after that. It's now just "Extreme Rules," and it now replaces "Judgment Day" in May.
Then, Vince decides to bring back ECW and give it a Tuesday night on SyFy (HATE that spelling) time slot. Sure, it's brought ratings to a network that has kind of swum in mediocrity before ("Battlestar Galactica" notwithstanding... that show was amazing, and had one of the best series finales in the history of the medium), but it's still like watching FCW every week. Not a bad idea, but not for ECW.
So, how do we fix it without getting rid of it altogether? Luckily, I have a plan.
First (and they're finally starting to do this a bit), get the SmackDown! roster off of the show. I understand that they tape on the same night (more on that in a bit), but it needs to be its own brand. If you're going to treat it like the bastard child that you do, let it be itself.
Next, separate it completely from SmackDown! I'll even go one step further with it and strip it down completely to the small venues that made ECW exactly what it was. Make the punchline about the "bingo halls" into reality. Sure, you can't take the insurance risks of what it was, but have some fun with it.
Then, make your title matches, oh I don't know... EXTREME. Extreme Rules matches shouldn't be the rareities that they are now. If you're going to be the ECW Champion, then you should know what the "E" stands for.
You can still use it as a breeding ground and transition from FCW to one of the big shows, but give it that old ECW feeling. Personally, I think it would bring ratings up even more and give me something that doesn't turn into background noise. I'm just sayin'.
Long winded? Yes. TOTALLY WORTH IT? I don't know about all that. Until next week...
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